Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
