belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
