There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
