she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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