I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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