dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize