I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
