I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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