he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize