just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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