the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize