it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
