Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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