I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
