Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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