My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
