I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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