i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
