She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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