the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
