I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
