I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
did i just pee glitter
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
