My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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