dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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