just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The Olympian is in my bed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
