I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
