I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize