just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
