Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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