we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
