i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
