im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
