What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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