He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
