where am i from again
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
