Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As shirtless as possible
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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