If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
