is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Boobs speak an international language.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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