Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
COCAINE IS GR8
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
