Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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