He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
