he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
