it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
