so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
