How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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