Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
