how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
