You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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