I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
