I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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