I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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