I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i think my cat just said my name.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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