do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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