beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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