how can u be prego again
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
