My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
