i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
