I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
