marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
