My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
