Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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