We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
