Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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