he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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