It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
