dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Randomize