it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
