Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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