In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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