Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
