Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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